I thought it might be a bit of a laugh to talk about the symptoms I’m getting from having two sizeable tumours in my abdomen. So, here’s how my cancer is affecting my body…
To be fair, the whole situation is messing with my head as well but I’ll leave that for another post.
As all the best realty and estate agent types will tell you, the three most important things are: location, location, location. Which is why I’ll start there. I should warn you going in, this might not be completely accurate because I’m not a doctor. And, while I have been shown the scans, it went something like this:
So, if you look at this monochrome image of a swarm of bees, you can see that this group of bees shouldn’t be there…
And then the consultant looked at me expectantly, as if I was supposed to say something. Word to the wise, “Why, because they’re from another hive?” doesn’t go down as well as you might expect.
But what I do know is that the original tumour is spurred off lobe 2 of the liver.
As you can see, lobe 2 is on the top left of the liver, sort of wrapped over the top so it faces back into the body. As such, the tumour is hidden behind the liver, when scanned from the front. A very sneaky little bastard indeed.
The main problem, in terms of how my cancer is affecting my body, is that my stomach was already occupying that space behind my liver…
Regrettably, though, this tumour is not alone. A bit further back into my body, just before you get to the spine, you’ll find the Aorta. Very important, is the Aorta: it’s the artery that takes the blood from your heart and sends it on its way round the body. By and large, you don’t want anything messing with your Aorta.
The first branch in the Aorta, beneath the diaphragm, is the Celiac Artery. Sometimes called the Celiac Axis. Either way, this little beauty supplies blood to the liver, stomach, kidneys and the pancreas. It’s a big player in the old blood distribution game, and not to be messed with, if you know what I’m saying.
Unfortunately, as well as watching too many reality property shows, my tumours are big fans of gangster movies. So they’ve moved right in on good old Celiac Axis’ turf and are busy demonstrating that they’re the new boss in town.
Or, to put it another way: the lymph nodes around the Celiac Axis became infected by the original tumour and have sort of grown and merged into one, big cancery mess.
Happy days!
Hopefully now we all have a reasonable understanding of my situation…
There are two tumours, one the size of a pool ball and the other the size of a Walnut, sitting in front of my spine. These tumours are taking up space normally reserved for my stomach. In essence, they’re pushing everything around them out of place.
The question then, in terms of the physical impact of the cancer is, how is this affecting my body…
For that, I’ll start at the beginning. More specifically, when I first suspected something was awry.
Which was last summer, when I started trying to overcome my depression by doing projects around our land. I found that I very quickly became exhausted when exerting myself. To start with, I just thought this was because I was a huge, blubbery, unfit mess…
Which, to be fair, I absolutely was.
But, over the space of a couple of weeks, it became clear that this wasn’t the only reason.
Thanks to a lucky break in genetics, I tend to get fit quite quickly. Even from a very low starting place. It was just that I was still becoming utterly wiped out when I was working hard. And that couldn’t be explained by being unfit.
It was something I’d experienced all too often before…
Historically, I was able to spot this when I was playing hockey. But, since the arthritis in my knee took hockey away from me, I no longer had that recognisable early-warning system. And by the time I noticed it in my new normal, I was just about due a set of scans anyway, so I just waited for them for confirmation.
But sod all that. That’s old news and part of the general signs and symptoms of bowel cancer.
What are the new ways that my cancer is affecting my body?
Well, I can’t bend over any more…
Actually, that’s not completely accurate. I can bend over long enough to put on my shoes. But if I want to, say, lay a course of blockwork at ground level, then I’m in trouble. I can’t hold a bent or crouched position for any length of time without attracting a sizeable dose of acid reflux.
And it is this acid reflux that has been the primary way that my cancer is affecting my body.
Sounds trivial doesn’t it? Innocent, almost…
Well, it’s not!
Here’s a list of foods I can no longer eat without consequence:
- Fatty foods
- Sugary foods
- Spicy foods
- Onions and garlic
- Chocolate… Chocolate, FFS!
Things that I can no longer drink:
- Caffeinated drinks, which naturally includes coffee… How am I supposed to wake up?!
- Carbonated beverages, like my beloved Pepsi Max Lime…
- Acidic (Fruit) Juices, which even extends to squash drinks like my other staple, Vimto.
- Alcohol, which, admittedly, is less of an issue for me than most people but, even so… I’m on holiday, man…
Things I can no longer do:
- Cycle, because it seems to be too close to a crouched position
- Swim, as it turns out, because keeping my head out of the water bends my back so far the other way, it has the same effect
- Run, not that I would, but likewise anything else that is ‘jiggly’ on the body – which absolutely destroys my non-existent dreams of becoming a World class trampolinist. But, still…
- Oh yeah: sleep!
Well, unbroken sleep really. But, nonetheless: it’s still a pain in the arse.
And the reason is, no matter what position I doze off in, within an hour or two I’ll have inflated like a balloon. Which means that I have to sit up and, well, deflate… Because, if I don’t, about half an hour later it’ll turn into reflux and I’ll wake up with a mouth full of vomit.
Delightful, I know, but it’s another significant way that my cancer is affecting my body: belching!
I’ve mentioned this to a number of the specialists I’ve seen and none of them can think why my cancer is causing this. But I suspect that if you’ve got a couple of tumours digging into your stomach, there’s going to be an issue. To my mind, if two walls of the stomach are being pushed together, the least you can expect is a bit of fizzing…
And, frankly, I’m quite relieved that it’s just a bit of acid reflux and wind…
Particularly as, by taking some Gaviscon, I can ease both of these.
As for other ways that my cancer is affecting my body, well they’re not too bad as of yet. I’m getting twinges in my back in the muscles between the ribs where, I assume, the diaphragm joins the ribcage. I’m assuming this because I know that at least one of the tumours is spreading on to the diaphragm. And I have to accept that this will have a knock-on effect at some point.
I’m also getting tired more easily, just from walking around…
But who wants to focus on things like that?!
We’re just here for the amusing stuff…
To conclude, then: the way my cancer is affecting my body is by depriving it of coffee, chocolate, flexibility, sleep and energy… and then filling it with air!
And to avoid much of this, I’m having to restrict myself to eating plain foods and drinking water!
Oh, the tragedy…
The humanity!
…
Let’s be honest: it could be worse.